Learning to Dream

I am home.

I am at work.

It feels ‘strange’ to sit on my chair to work. I have almost forgotten what it feels like to work 

nine to six.

The computer screen looks familiar, everything I have known are all in the right place.  I fumbled at the keyboard. Woosh, I was typing with my nails!! Where is “A’, “Z’,” R”, I have to look at the keyboard closely to type. 

My mind recalled how to open a word document, and how to access my email, but the computer did not do what I wanted it to do. It took me half a day to figure out the computer before I could get any real work done.

I clicked on the ‘IN box’ in my email. Holy cow, almost 600 email came in! It will take me at least a week to deal with all of them. Meanwhile I struggled to type on the keyboard. Many spelling mistakes. And where to insert this, and underline that?

Where are my things?  

    I have been
forgetting to bring my handphone...........

I was frustrated, even more frustrated is my daughter who has to come over constantly to show me how to use the computer again.

“You can’t give up,” Lucy saw the tension between my daughter and me over the computer. One wants to do things fast, one has other things to do in the office besides teaching computer. Turning to my daughter, she insisted, “If she learns faster, her mind will be calmer because she will worry less, and it will be good for her.”

Besides computer usage problem, I can’t remember where some of my files are! So when I need to work on something, it takes me quite some time to search for my folders in my email and also in my hard drive. I got worried. How is the ED of eHomemakers able to bring things back up to pace again if she can’t remember her files and many things?

“The only way is to be patient, work hard to get better, and pray to God" Lucy’s advice. “But don’t work too hard that you fall sick again. Remember, you are on steroid now, so you feel that you can do anything and everything. The truth is, you can’t. Your mind is running but your body is not.”

“And try to use different things to help you to remember.”

Color coding things help me

 to remember which is for which purpose.

I get tired easily. After every hour on the computer, I have to lay down on the couch in the living room of the office. Sometimes I am so frustrated that I feel like giving up. Times like this, Lucy advices again, “Then think about all the good blessings around you, and dream about good things. When you feel better, start again.”

Dreams? Pong has dreams to travel around the world to meet other disabled who do unusual things and to be a motivational speaker. What is my dream?

I wish a strong team with a strong leader with same vision as me take over eHomemakers so I can write, make documentary and travel around the world.

Going to the US to do my PHD, back to the academic circle to debate over nice dinners and wine.

Being a motivational speaker, travel widely and speak.

Being a sought- after mentor for institutions which have social entrepreneurship programs.

Become a totally changed person.  When I walk, flowers open for me; my light shine onto others. The world is mine. And life is fabulous.

Many good friends around with good conversations, wine and good foods, and lots of travels to see the world with them.

Both Lucy and Pong told me 
that the best thing to forget is the past.

My good friend Jabu told me to write down my dreams. It will actualize when you write them down and feel the success of the dreams.

So here they are in this blog.

By Ching Ching